Accept It!

  I remember the first time someone told me in the face to Accept my daughter Eyram (She lives with Cerebral palsy)

I had gone to sit in the prayer garden of the Mount Moriah prayer centre. I  can't remember if it was the normal Wednesday programme or a Special one.

I sat between two elderly women, (I later got to know one was a Retired Reverend Minister)

The woman watched me struggle with two babies who were not twins.  One about 6months old and another two years plus but practically needed help with just everything.  Her neck kept flopping backwards,  she couldn't sit by herself. I had to hold her in a particular way to get her in a sitting position and that was hard.

I looked tired, even though I was there for a prayer meeting,  I just couldn't pray. All I did was to think about the children and occasionally gaze absent mindedly into the air.

This woman must have watched me for sometime. She started engaging me in a conversation but I wasn't too interested.  I gave her straight forward answers and turned my face off at the least opportunity. 

It wasn't time for me to engage in any conversation.  I just wanted to be .

Then she said ACCEPT IT. I heard that loud and clear but she repeated Accept it. I nodded, didn't know how to respond to that advice in the moment I just nodded.

That simple advice was to hunt me later on in life. Occasionally,  I would hear those words echo back to me. At one point when I remembered those words, I got angry, in fact furious. 

I remember shouting into the thin air as if that elderly  woman could hear me.

How could she, how could she have advised me to Accept it. Would she have accepted it? I was determined to pray Cerebral palsy out of my daughter,  it wasn't in the plan to Accept it but with time that simple advice became the most meaningful advice I ever had.

I slowly learnt to accept that  my daughter lives with Cerebral palsy.  It was a condition that she was going to live with till a miracle happened. Yes I believe in miracles and in prayer but I also learnt one important thing; that if you cannot get a miracle,  be the miracle. 

I slowly learnt to let go all desperation and trust the universe (God) more.

I learnt to take it one day at a time. I  learnt gratitude in the process and engaged in gratitude journaling and meditation every single day of my life.

Gradually,  I began to welcome genuine joy and happiness into my life.

I got to a point where I realised that I was exuding joy and positivity. 

I embraced contentment and started to love my life again. 

That simple advice Accept it, with time, made all the difference in my life.

Human as I am,  there are times I sink. Occasionally,  I will catch myself thinking like: "if only Eyram was a regular 10 year old..." but within this same journey has been moments of excitement over what someone will call little. 

I have laughed loudly, I smile broadly and have become very self aware.

I learnt to understand that simple advice the elderly woman gave me. ACCEPT IT.

That advice still flashes through my mind every once in a while and when it does I just remind myself that God knows,  God understands and God is involved. 

My dear just Accept it!