I am a believer in the saying that “You cannot pour from an
empty cup” Parenting is a noble but difficult task. The task of nurturing a
little human being to become a responsible adult is not a joke
You have the responsibility to guide the child’s behaviour
which includes his/her emotions, character, self-esteem and a lot more
I think that majority of parents wants the best for their
children so if you happen to nurture a child who is not the average or regular,
if your child happens to be differently able, it comes along with emotions,
emotions which most of the time happens to be negative
The “why me’s” the oh God why and the weeping and crying
which usually happens because of how society responds or reacts to your child.
Most of the time apart from just being a parent we are busily explaining to
society why your child is different.
My first child happens to have cerebral palsy, I did not
have time to brood over her the way I wanted to because before I could say jack
I was pregnant with a second and felt totally helpless and scared.
What helped me overcome the sorrow and the emotions I
believe was prayer, I prayed, I prayed, I prayed. I prayed like there was
nothing else to do. It does not mean I did not cry, oh I cried, I cried and
cried over the child I thought I will have
However, after the weeping came acceptance. I love my
daughter to bits, I accepted her for who she is, I became her advocate, I teach
her to be confident about herself every day and she has become so resilient,
she has actually taught me to be even more resilient for her.
I take it one day at a time, If you ask me what I intend my
daughter to become or where I see my daughter in five years, I don’t know and
honestly I don’t know. I am not God, her future is totally in the hands of God, who knows tomorrow, I guess no one knows his or her future except God, the same applies to a child with Special needs or a person who is differently able,
I do what I have to do, I put my best foot forward in terms of nurturing but
after all the work is done, it is in the hands of God
I remember when I was toilet-training my daughter, (and I
started toilet training immediately she could sit at age two) I used to feel so
frustrated, she just would not use a potty, I cried, I threatened, I did
whatever, she wasn't picking up, now to my amazement, my daughter crawls to her potty anytime she
needs to wee-wee or to poopoo, once I notice her near the potty, I rush and lift
her unto it and it’s a deal.
She can get down from the potty herself and if she poopoo
she will go and pick the Toilet roll to alert me to wipe her bum, if anybody
told me that she will get to this level of development when she was three or
four years, I would have doubted, now she does and I can’t stop being proud of
her, it is one day at a time
The last thing I want to say is practice self-love, if you
keep weeping and mourning the child you thought you will have, you are not
helping yourself and you will not help your child. Do what you like to do. The
biggest mistake I would have committed was to have focused my whole life on
trying to get my daughter to be better.
I focus on me getting better to be able to help her, I am pursuing higher
education, I am improving all the skills I have and learning new
skills, I have developed love for simple things, nature, I admire birds and
trees and leaves and I grow plants and oh I smile and laugh a lot.
I crave for more self-love, peace and a happy family life
and trust me my family is enjoying me and I am enjoying them, the focus is not to
get my daughter healed, the focus is to give her a happy life, I belive that should be every parent's goal to make their children have a happy life. I am proud to be
an advocate not just for her but for all children with cerebral palsy and in
fact all children with special needs
My daughter has opened my eyes to the beautiful things of
life which we usually ignore, I am a very positive person, I look at the
positive side of everything, now I am even more positive, I assert myself better and I totally believe in myself, and my
life is so full of laughter, much more laughter than tears.
Having a child with cerebral palsy or any special need to me
is a privilege, it was an opportunity to learn more about my capabilities, to develop
new skills and above all to love, love and love
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